Written By: Ken Morton, Sr.
Navigating Disagreement: Building Bridges Instead of Burning Them
It is becoming clearer that in our modern-day society that when people disagree, friends can be lost, families can be broken up and relationships destroyed and even ended. Politeness and courtesy in interpersonal interactions contribute to a positive social climate reducing stress and promoting psychological health. Surveys have thousands of people have had the following results:
- 85% of survey takers said civility in society is worse than 10 years ago.
- 29% said social media is primarily responsible.
- 24% blamed biased medias.
- 34% said family & friends are responsible for improving civility.
- 27% said it’s the responsibility of public officials to appropriately change the culture of disagreeing.
- 11% said is community leaders who need to change and become better examples of how people should communicate.
Principles for how to create Disagreements Positively.
- Both people have legitimate right to feel & think the way they do.
- If just one of the disagreeing participants wins the argument, both lose.
- Put downs and name calling are forbidden.
- Use your ears more than your mouth – the 80/20 rule.
- The goal of conflict is unity & understanding.
- Use “I” statements such as – “I feel” and “I am concerned”.
- Ask questions first for a better understanding of “Why”.
- Attend to Tone! It is about 5 times more important than what is said.
- Possibly call for a timeout & face the issue later when both sides have had a chance to calm down.